Love - 2007

9 April 2007 - i love my son.... n so i told him before he went to Zzz land every night.

It reminded me of the poster i pasted on the wall of my dorm back in my NTU hall 3 days. The poster (with an Australian Silky Terrier in it) read "To you, he is a dog. To him, you are his Everything", except now that I'm referring to my son. To him, TT & i are his everything.

Every night when i have to put Kayden to sleep, he would snuggle into my arms. We would sleep embracing one another, something even husband n wife don't do nowadays. I can even feel him breathing into my face! And every time i say i love him before he sleeps, an image of him standing and smiling at me completes the wonderful feeling of love.



And like i used to tell my friends - simple fact is there is only one definition for love. Parental love, BG love, brotherly/sisterly love - they are all the same. Love!!

Too often, we adults like to complicate matters. A simple 'I love you' can span across countless boundaries of definition and be dressed in millions of ways just for display. It surely doesn't take that much to understand what is the meaning of love? I feel it everyday when Totti K plants his kiss on my lips (no longer the sloppy wet kiss anymore, his kissing skills have improved!!!) or just by saying my 'name' - Papa even though he is occupied with something else. My son loves me...... in the least elaborated yet most apparent way.

To love and be loved is the most fortunate thing in the world. And by loving and accepting love, there will be double the number of fortunate people in the world.

New Year Resolution 2009

Time flies.... The last time we blogged about New Year Resolution was back in January 2006. That was the last time we ever had any resolution in black n white. I thought it would be good to have one for myself for the year 2009, partially becos of my mid-life crisis and also to have something to look forward to.

So here goes the list:-

1) Buy and move into my own property - This is my personal top priority for the new year. It is a long painful decision-making process on my part and i've not disclosed this to anyone yet. Upon disclosure, i do not expect everyone to fully understand my decision but i believe it has to be one of the more important decision i've made over the last few years (and probably the next few years too!!). I expect my little family to stand by my decision both emotionally and financially. The financial burden will be great but we will make it work. I do not wish for any other forms of financial assistance (other than the banks, of cos!) This is my principle and i just hope everyone respect my way of living.

2) Boost my Passion (in life) - Not just the bedroom passion ... but overall. Several friends who truly know me will know that i suffer from "passion-deficiency". The signs and symptoms are obvious. I live my life without any passion, basically finding a routine and sticking by it - even though i didn't enjoy doing it. I like uncertainty but chose not to pursue it. I'm not trained to identify my passions and can't seem to be able to find my mojo or enough zest to embark on a self discovery program. My educational life was spent "walking" after papers (while others were passionately chasing for them). I didn't choose my own secondary school nor my own ECA or supp classes then. I chose my JC because everyone else did the same (while in my heart then, i wanted different). I chose Accountancy in university mainly because my dad and brother studied the same. I definitely didn't choose my first job. The best and only few passionate decisions i've made in my life were to insist in being involved and staying in Hall of Residence 3 during my university days and needless to say, marry the woman i love.

So, in order to boost my passion, i intend to try my best to live life to the fullest. Attempt to be more involved in decision making process for my family. Try to be a little bit more adventurous... Be it little things in life. More consumption of Passion fruits will be of no harm too.




3) Work-Life Balance - Somebody told me this term is no longer valid, especially in times of global financial crisis. Currently, i seldom get to see my kids or dine at home on weekdays. I usually work until 8-9pm and 10-11pm on my peak period (which lasted for 4mths). Time spent at home seem so short and unmemorable (if we don't do anything meaningful). This, i have to be more efficient at work and automate everything i can (even-though the current system doesn't seem to help at all)

I wish to lead a more healthy life-style (something which i believe everyone should). My dream lifestyle would be to knock off from work and head for a sporting activity at least once a week. I hope to learn Qigong and do yoga too.

4) Get Kayden enrolled in a good primary school - This is another tough one. At the moment, i've taken a back seat (..actually the lazy couch) and push all responsibilities to TT. I promise to be more involved. And even-though i always tell TT that things taught at home is more important, i cannot deny the fact that the chances of scoring better results are higher in a reputable school with good track record.




5) Sort out my family plans for the next 5 years - Several issues are still pending which we shall work on them step by step. But generally, we need to know where we are headed for in the next 5 years... be it my career, the children's education or our country of residence.

This list is not exhaustive and there will definitely be more things to add on. Year 2009 will be a difficult year for everyone but i like challenges. I used to tell people that i strive in times of uncertainties and hibernate in flourishing times. I certainly hope this statement will prove to be true again.

Something spooky

I've been away again for a long stretch, everything's been fine... Been going out a lot with SH as she's on leave this whole month and also been reading...

Further to my post on the demise of our neighbour, yesterday being Day 5 from his funeral, Kayden simply said "MR WEE" when we came out from our room at 9pm as we were going out to pick Papa from his office. It was just a simple normal greeting, nothing more.

For me, I poked my head from behind our door and said "Where??"

He looked at me and pointed at my in-laws room door and said "Mr Wee, in the room".

I stare and see nothing.

He traipsed downstairs normally whilst I, scaredy cat, had a shiver of nervousness and quickly changed and joined them downstairs.

I dunno if you believe in the supernatural, I do, though I am scared of it. The very scared kind. The kind who dont even dare to look into an open casket at wakes. My fear is always that the corpse will twitch or worst, open its eyes to stare at me. Scared. Very. Very.

I recounted the events to WK, Gigi and my in-laws. They were spooked too but we all know that he will not harm us, if only, its him saying goodbye to the kids? He is fond of them, always calling out their names and asking for a hug or kiss. 

Though they're just a neighbour, but they have definitely left a deep impression in Kayden's heart (not so much Sophie as she's too young). Kayden even said last night he wanted to give the 1st and only christmas card he made in school to Mr Wee... perhaps the late Mr Wee heard and came to say thank you or see Kayden before he leaves for heaven. 

I dunno. Or you could say its a figment of the child's imagination.

Oh well.

For me, I have no reason to not believe my son. And as the saying goes, the young and pure has still their 3rd eye. 

Office Boy and Gal

21 Oct 08 - Of all the places that i dislike, my office ranked among the top. I suppose this is the same for most people.
And people tend to separate the things they love from the things they dislike.
It was no wonder that i try to avoid going back to office on weekends and needless to say, bring my family to my office.



It came as a surprise to me on one of the saturdays that the office can be a really good place to hang out with young children. My family came with me to my office in Capital Towers that particular day. Totti K was asleep when we arrived while Sophie was intrigued by the unique environment - probably a place she will not often see in her next 20 yrs of life.



We placed Kayden on 2 office chairs to sleep while TT entertained Sophie with the Pens and the Papers... i've lots of them in different colors! When the boy awakes, the beautiful view just behind my desk kept the kids busy... busy identifying with the boats, construction vehicles, cars...The kids kept themselves occupied while i work. Never for once did they complain about being bored. And when i needed a break, i could afford to play hide and seek with them.

The positive response certainly got me thinking if my family should just tag along next time i go to office on a weekend. The thought of having to work on weekends still sucks but hey, at least, i found my willing companions!

Western australia Trip - Photos (8th day)

Just gonna post some pics of our 8th day in Western Australia. It was spent in Walpole - A really small town before Albany.
The main attraction is the Gloucester Trees - very majestic and tall trees and you get to climb them...if you dare....




















Nice birdie that follows you around..... sits on yr shoulder if you offer food....



















This is where we had our lunch. Walpole is supposedly famous for its marron...yummy..














Totti K trying to order for us...




















Perfect Coke moment....

















train ride through the kerri forest area...

Sophie at 22months

A lot of blogging moms write about their children's milestones especially during the early years of 0-2years, but I never seem to be able to do that consistently for both of my kids, mainly cos my memory dont work so well and I really cant recall what has occured in the past few days, much less the whole month. 

What I remember of Sophie is how angelic she was in her 1st year... She was easy to handle, and somewhere after she turned 1, her strong-willed personality showed. She definitely is not one easy toddler to handle now, has a mind of her own and loves to do her own stuff. She is not reliant on anyone and can play on her own contentedly.

She is now very sticky to me and loves to nurse from me ("Milk Mama please"), I have not been able to wean her off at all! She had finished all the EBM in the freezer so is supplemented on Gain IQ. Its so difficult to feed her! Be it milk in the bottle or straw and normal meals... She only eats easily if her hands are busy and she has something to play with. She loves to have her Kor Kor feed her, "Kor Kor feed Mei Mei" she would say many times, and her brother will always accede.

She had started picking up the scissors and loves to imitate what her brother does. She cuts playdough with the blunt plastic scissors and enjoys it tremendously.

She loves shoes, accessories, and pretty clothes. A really girly girl. She is able to wear clothes and shoes on her own. However, she plays with cars and trains and her favorite is Barney and Elmo - mainly the songs, not so much the toys yet. She is confident, even in the playground and can come down the slide all by herself since a few months back.

She speaks now, to tell us what she wants. And her vocab is getting stronger, with more words recognised. Her concentration span with a book is still relatively short unless its those open-the-flap books. She loves more song and music than books.

She loves her Papa and in comparison to her brother, she is more attached to her Papa than K. Maybe it is a daughter-father chemistry, I dunno. She dont have to see WK much, but when she does, she relish and enjoy every minute and second with him.

She still wears clothes for a year old although she will be turning 2 in 1.5months! Where the pants fit the length, the waist is always loose. She is no longer the Michelin baby she used to be.

She loves to be tickled and laughs out loud. Loves playing with her brother, and actually the brother is the centre of her life. Once she wakes, the first person she looks for is "Kor Kor". She has much tolerance for his roughness when playing but same cant be said when it comes to sleeping and sharing the same bed. Perhaps cos she's been used to sleeping on her own, she still wants the same luxury of space now that she is sleeping with us ("Sleep on Mama bed")... She no longer wants to sleep in her room, calls for another post.

We have started potty training her, and she uses the potty usually, sometimes the toilet too. She can tell us when she wants to pee, be it big or small business, she calls them "Urgnk urgnk". She will not pee or poo when I bring her to the potty or toilet, and will do it only with Gigi. Dunno why so! :) But she is very attached to Gigi and was upset she went out on her offday last Sunday... So a proper goodbye is necessary now at this age.

She loves to do things by herself and never want any help. She'll firmly say aloud "Mei Mei (do/wash/walk/actions)" so she would be understood. She is more sure footed and confident, and rarely ever let anyone affect her.

She definitely do not have an easy temperament to handle but she is so fun to be with. Cheery, funny and cute. Her brother loves her to bits nowadays and hugs and kisses her at least once a day. She loves having her Kor Kor envelope her in his arms and she goes all limp in our arms when we carry her like she is moulding her body to ours. She is a great kisser too, not sloppy at all :)

Shopping and spending

Everyday such mailers are pushed into my inbox... Gap, Gymboree.

Oh how nice, oh really how nice it is to be shopping in the States. Free shipping. Discount on sale items. $20 discount on check out. More discount on checkout. Cheaper than cheap prices we dont see here. 

Lucky for me, myself and hubby, I dont live there, and I dont have much means of shipping it back other than to time the online purchases to my mom's trips to Florida and hop onto her baggage space! I'm too cheapo to pay for international shipping and all these Vpost stuff is beyond my comprehension - see at times my lazy bones DO work to my advantage :)

I wish though, I can. I like the convenience of online shopping for kids stuff be it clothes or food or other perishable products. Adult purchases especially clothes dont work as well somehow, but kids, really easy to buy, ie part with dough.

Basically I love shopping, and I am a sucker for discounts. When an item is heavily discounted, I have on occasions find myself reasoning NOT to buy it, rather than the other way around. Though I must say I am a lot better now in terms of being a shopaholic, not fully by choice, but mainly constraints ie no more luxurious time spent walking in a shopping centre since the kids came! Definitely no to shopping with the kids, gotta be nuts, never! And do I agree that women form the pillar of the world economy.

Of course, all my spending's to the dismay of my hubby, who is sane (no 1) and (no 2) never ever shops. Ever. I can count the no of times he bought anything for himself since we wed 5yrs ago with one hand. Guess as everyone says, only yin and yang attract, and keeps the balance. And in a way, we are the way the other is not.

The other day, he just said "Watch your expenses, dont spend unncessarily" and my immediate response, "I'm thinking of doing Lasik". Haha, its funny la, he had this dont-you-ever-understand-me look on his face its funny :) 

But really, I have been contemplating it for so long, ever since mid this year when the providers take on to slashing prices and dangles the promotion DAILY in the newspaper. Every page of the Straits Times it seems, has an advert on Lasik its totally in-your-face obvious and catchy. Advertisements do work definitely :) So now, I'm still pondering.... We'll see, most likely will do it (Bee - FYI hor). And my brother's comment, the amount of $ I had spent on my daily contact lenses, would have funded Lasik of 1.5 eyes - almost right, as I think it would have covered it fully, especially with eyewear purchases thrown in.

Post

I realised I forgot to say that not earning my own income had made me more spend-thrift as there is a big guilt trip for me when I spend! So most of the time, I conjure the spending in my mind, like this Lasik thing for example. I think and think and think and ponder and I know I wanna do it, but I know I will feel so guilty spending the money, so I take no real action but constantly think about it. Hmmm. Weird huh? :) So instead of what people do for a past time, window shop, I mind shop!

Perm, curls, waves... I love!

Today, the grandparents brought the kids out for lunch, and I quickly booked myself an appt at the hairdresser's! 

My mane of glory (so the term goes) has been so hideous for ever so long. Hair growing in all directions, fringe/bangs thats neither here nor there. I was so tired of just clipping it up, I just needed something DONE.

Went to a new place, the one that SH frequents for rebonding. She did a perm last Weds, and my desire to get another perm was a little stirred again. U see, my usual hairdresser would not perm my hair if it is anything at shoulder length - and problem is, my hair is mostly at shoulder length since the kids arrived. So, perming was a no go for years!

But this guy, Kelvin was an a-OK stylist. Sure, short perm can do (which I also agree) and if I'm not keen to color (which I dont, ever) OK too tho he suggests at least a highlight to enhance the curls, but nope, not for me, jet black hair's all I want. 

So today, I had the 3rd perm in my life - so fun! First was a super disastrous one done when I was in high school at a perm parlour behind my mom's house - I only had to walk across our back alley to get through their back door, and the 2nd one, done after I got married. First was Maggi mee style, so yucks! I dont even recall what happened to all the 'noodles', 2nd one was nice, and subject to a lot of admiration and praises from other females but I chopped it all off after a few months as it was too difficult to keep long wavy hair. All tangled up and cant even use a comb, disastrous to me.

Needless to say, I am happy with the result of this Air Wave perm. Its natural looking and bouncy, springy. And I love having curls at shoulder length... I thought it looks fun yet light. Of course, I can rave nonstop as after all I have just stepped out of the salon, any woman can tell u the wonderful effects of hairsalon treatment, it just makes one feel on top of the world, suddenly everything looks less gloomy.

WK says I look more modern (good, a tick there). Kayden looked at me quizically when I returned but didnt complain like the last time I chopped off the length. Dear Sophie didnt see any difference, she just noticed her Mama is back and bounced up and down happily in her chair. Mostly, I feel its not too difficult to manage, and I think I can do the styling :) Tomorrow, it will be flatter for sure, but for now, it looks like this...

Sorry not trying to be funny but I added frames, I just realised my 7 months old phone has this function, haha, and frankly I was trying to hide the background of our toilet walls and sink! And 2nd photo I tinted the color brown so the waves and curls are more obvious. My hair color's actually the photo on the left.

Reflecting on this post, I know I have gone a little berserk writing about my stupid curls but please do pardon me as I am on a high. The curls just makes me so happy, haha. I wonder how I can keep it looking like salon condition on my own, tomorrow I will know what reality is without the curls blower - u know the extension to the hair dryer that looks like a big bowl where the curls just sit and gets blown dry? Why cant anyone invent a fuss-free, style-free perm? Life will be so much easier!

Tomorrow, I promise, I will write a more sane post, about my daughter... the post I mentioned I will write yesterday :) And I cross my fingers I will not be glued to my 3rd Library novel tonight, scared!

Our neighbour

This morning when my in-laws came downstairs they told about the passing of our neighbour Mr Wee last night. The police had been at his house at 2am earlier, when my FIL came back after his game of MJ and this morning Mr Wee's maid also told about the passing to my ILs maid.

I was surprised, taken aback. I saw him just 2 nights ago - when we came back from Shichida on Thursday, we dropped in as again, there was another ambulance at his gate. Instead of having his dialysis done at home with water, he had had to go down to Thomson to get his blood dialysis after the op. He was 70 and lived alone with a maid, hence needed the ambulance to come every 3 days to pick him up and drop off for the procedure.

He had lived with kidney failure for about 20-30 years of his life, and does dialysis on a daily basis. He lost his wife to cancer earlier this year but had been fighting to live daily on his own as their only child now lives in the US with his own family. He said his son could not relocate back as he is unable to find a job locally with the financial crisis.

I visit him occasionally as he loves to talk, have someone to converse with. He told me she was the love of his life, but for her, was the son after the boy was born :) He says so is the bond of mother and son, with no contempt. And he had to take prescribed sleeping pills few months back as he was simply too lonely without her. He complained often that his heart feels funny and he is losing strength.

He went for a major heart op, something akin to a bypass on 21 Nov and had been bedridden as he is still recuperating from the op. He seemed to me, 2 nights ago, still as hearty as a bull except that perhaps his body may not be as strong as his mind, yet. He explained he had at least 50% chance to live with the op where they inserted 2 heart stents where the valve to the aorta of his heart had extended in length - there was no explanation for the extension, guess its just one of those things as one ages.

His voice was still so strong as he was telling me he had even bought a present for the doctor who had saved his life. He was scheduled to see him tomorrow on Monday for the usual checkup. Guess it was not to be and he had to see him earlier yesterday instead. 

It is amazing how death happens, and there is no warning. It never occured to me he will be leaving so soon. I knew he had been waiting for his son to relocate back, but guess the wait is just too much, too long for him. He still had so much gusto in him, and I tot a lot of will to live, but I guess life ends when someone up there says its time to go.

WK says its better for him as his body was failing anyway and he gets to be with his wife again. I guess too he is right, but I tot a few more months, or maybe a year or two will be good, after all he had the major heart op to extend his life, he ought to be able to at least enjoy the renewed life?

His son will be back tonight, yet again to organise the funeral of his last parent. Life is life, and it still goes on.

I've explained to Kayden this morning. Lesson on death has been about our dear neighbours, Mr and Mrs Wee. He listened intently, I guess he understands? This is afterall the 2nd time I have told him about it and he no longer was surprised to hear about a body being burn or buried.

Lucky I did manage to see him last week, of course I should have gone more often to visit, but life cant just be about if onlys. Its good that at least I was an occasional company to him, until his last few days on earth, guess my next visit will be the last, and it will be to bid him farewell and also to apologise for not going back the next day on Friday as I said I would. I'm sure he'll be so very happy to see his wife.

What's in my head?

Obsessive compulsive.

The only word that came to mind when I finally closed the novel at 2.30am earlier today. Another race, and again, I had to win. I finished the 300-odd-paged novel in 24hours or less. As long as I have a book, I need to finish it, cos I need to know the ending. Hmmm.

I think I need to stop laying my hands on a book for a while. It has stopped me from cleaning the room, completing some paperwork application, etc. Though yesterday, wasnt a bad day, I even brought the kids out twice - once to the gym in the afternoon and the other, dinner and then cycling in West Coast Park.

Yes, I will stop borrowing books - fiction adult books - from the library at our next visit in 2.5weeks. Just bring home the kids' books. Cant let this obsession perpetuate, else all I blog about as well will also be my obsession to finish the novel that I start. And u will be bored as hell, hehe.

Looks like this will be a good weekend? Weather today's sunny, but somehow its not hot, yet. Good good :) There's a mild chill in the air... Haha, why I am writing about the weather???!!!

There's this movie Bolt in the cinema, thinking of bringing K to see it, with hubby of course, in case he becomes unmanageable, which I doubt though. It will be his first at the cinema, and I am sure he will like it. WK, WK thinks he will be a disturbance to other patrons as he will definitely ask the WHY WHY MA WHY? Haha, most likely, but I have witnessed a decrease in questioning in the past days, weeks, and his attention span on the TV seems to have increased.

Will see, does he need a ticket I wonder? He can actually just sit on our laps. Hmm... But the boy pointed to the Igor poster in the papers today, preferring it over Bolt. Igor seems to be new to me, I only saw the advert today, but then again, I could be wrong, as its BEEN A SUPER LONG TIME WE'VE NOT BEEN TO THE MOVIES. Really. The last one was here - Sept 20. 

Wont be bringing Mei, WK gave me this incredulous look that says "Have you gone absolutely MAD?" One child is enough, what more, the thought of bringining a 22month old to the theatres, many of my nerves in the brains must have short-circuited. Oh well. I have the guilt I must say, of not bringing Mei if K gets to go, anywhere. 

But of course, WK is right in this instance. Without a doubt... She. Will. Not. Be. Able. To. Sit. Still. Unless my objective is to stand outside the cinema hall, guess no bringing her this time. Will write it when we do bring the King.

What else, what else I've been meaning to ramble about.

Oh yes, my kids, are so into Christmas this year. They love Santa - their first glimpse was at the Xmas party in Mei's playschool, not a Santa but a Santarina who doled out presents to them. Then we saw another pathetic one in Orchard Road (really, cross my heart, worst I've seen. A guy as skinny as my hubby, in an (GET THIS) inflatable plastic outfit. His beard? Wow, another story, made of cotton wool sheets that seems to br dropping everytime he moves) - he's in the skit of a children's play this year - part of the Sweet Family performances outside Ngee Ann City. As ridiculous as he looked to me, the kids loved him. More so when he each gave them a Chupa-Chup.

So they've been singing Christmas carols - Jingle Bells and Santa's Coming to Town. They know the song! Again, I was surprised there. They've only heard it, at those 2 events above again. Kids do learn fast I must say. So, we've gone to use Santa's Coming to Town to get them to finish their food.... The lyrics about he can see them, see if they're naughty or nice got them to open up their mouths and cooperate with eating and finishing their portions. Guess Santa, ugly or not the one they saw, has been more helpful than I could have imagined :)

I think this year, we'll need to start the tradition of giving them christmas gifts, as Kayden has come to understand the spirit of of the season - presents! Not so much giving and receiving yet, maybe that concept will come next year when we do finally have our own chirstmas tree :) It'll be more easy to explain with a tree, at least to me. Haha.

He likes too the Santa book he chose from the library, about Santa being grumpy... its a rhyming book - those rhyming poems I mean. He likes those, more than the usual picture books. He can remember the poems as we read, and completes a sentence or two. Its fun now, he is fun at this age.

WK has commented that I have not written much about Soph... So I will in my next post, the girl is also quite funny now, being able to talk and express herself. And wherever she goes, she has a string of friends... she is a friendly one. 

OK gotta go. Both kids are screaming at the top of their voices "MAMA COME EAT!"

Have a great weekend!

A normal day

Again I've been away... 

Mom came w aunt and cousin for 3days 2nights over the long weekend, and I was the driver for them during their shopping trip eventhough unluckily I fell sick with running nose and cough. And the 3 girls went crazy at the shops, really! Bought lotsa lotsa stuff, and for some reason they simply love Bossini and went and bought stuff 3 times, all 3 days in a row. Amazing! I even got their membership card now... and I definitely need them back again within the year to keep the membership alive as I have not made a purchase from that chain store for years, dont think that'll change anytime soon so they'll need to come back to accumulate spending of $200 (I think) to keep the discount card active :)

Went out for dinner too to catch up with some old friends. Its nice, very nice... Nothing beats meeting people whom u've hung out with so much for a part of your life, and reacquanting again. Conversations were an easy banter and beign in each other's company was comforting. Will be glad to do it again soon before SH leaves for foreign soil.

And, since my last post, I am still stuck on books. This time, I got 4 novels from the Library! Whoopie, I have just saved myself $60! But, bad news is, my nose is so closely held to it (them) that I am back in the addiction stage. I dont think hubby likes it much, or at all. Hmmm.... 

What else? Kids are playing now in the attic, Sophie is crying for help as the boy is trying to jump on her. Haha :) Its going to be a good routine weekday today, finally. I like the sameness of everyday, I like the normality and the schedules, and I know a day like today, I can squeeze in time to read as well as blog, but I have to qualify that actually I only look forward to such days when I have a good novel in hand :) As otherwise, I prefer to be out, do things, and I especially like to bring visitors around. 

Will make it short this time, so I can get back to my story! :)

The day my son said i look like.....

7 Dec 2008 - This evening, my son signaled for me to come over as i was about to leave the house for a barbecue function. He said he wanted to tell me a secret. I was pretty amused but at the same time curious. I initially thought he had a sudden surge in emotions and wanted to tell me how great his father was (and all those long hours at work had paid off!!?!!)

I went over to him, and he signaled that he wanted to whisper something to my ears. I was even more excited about this secret (since i was the only one sharing secrets with him all the time, by whispering things in his ears and telling him not to tell anyone about our secrets)

K: "Papa, come closer, i want to tell you something"

And as i tilt my head closer to him, i somehow could see an honest smile on his face.

K: "Papa, you look like crap"

Daddy: "huh, say again, Papa cannot hear you"

K (smiling again): "You look like CRAP"

Daddy (eyes wide in shock but trying to contain my emotions):"Oh ok thks"

I bid farewell to him as i was late for the barbecue but his sentence had me thinking the whole evening. Am i that poorly groomed?? should i go for a makeover?? Was it my usual uncombed hair?? Damn, if my son thinks i look like crap, what would my wife or daughter think of me?? and so, i was determined to find out more about his question.



When i returned home at night, i tried asking Kayden what he meant. Apparently, TT overheard our "little secret sharing conversation" earlier on and had already clarified the matter for me. What Kayden had meant was that his daddy looked like a Crab and his reason being my unshaven moustache was prickly like a crab!!! I heaved a sigh of relief and was glad that i do not have to seriously consider a makeover. Nevertheless, i promise myself to shave more often so that my kids don't have to see their daddy as an eye popping eight legged side crawling sea creature anymore.

Bonnie or Barney

My dear brother-in-law burnt some CDs full of nice children songs for the kids. Among them, there was this female singer with really good vocal and she was backed vocally by a male guitarist (i presumed).  The songs were all done with light guitar strumming and plucking, which sounded easy on the ears and appealed to even adults like myself.

In the CD, there was this particular song "My Bonnie", which happened to be one of my childhood favourites. It was a Scottish folk song and even though, the true origin of the song might be about something else, lyrically, it appears to be about searching for a lost (presumingly drowned) pony by the name of Bonnie. But somehow, i swear that the singer pronounced "Bonnie" as "Barney" and the thought of "My Barney lies over the ocean, my Barney lies over the sea....... so bring back my Barney to me" scares the hell out of me. 

Already, i am allergic to this purple Dinosaur. And every time i hear this song, the image of a purple dinosaur floating in the sea sends tingles up my spine.... aargghh... Moreover, i always have issues with this song as it doesn't sound child friendly. Singing about the death of a pet Pony is already tough for an adult to accept, and to grief over the death of every young kids' favourite pet dinosaur is unimaginable....

btw, here are some really cool links for kids to play games and watch videos relating to Barney, Thomas and Trains, Bob Builder etc.

http://www.barney.com
http://www.thomasandfriends.com
http://www.bobthebuilder.com

Where have I been?

This is my longest break away since I started writing often last month.

Not that we went away, nope. We had yes, a busy weekend, based in Singapore as we attended a wedding, a kids party, a massage, meeting a home friend who's in town, etc over the last few days.

Not only had I neglected the blog, my hubby made a verbal complaint that I have been ignoring him, and for confession sake, I had also not spent much quality time with the kids like just this morning as I had to have a sleep-in until 11am. Tsk tsk.

You see, I have a super weakness for...... BOOKS.

Upon my suggestion on Saturday afternoon when I stepped into Times without my wallet, WK bought me 2 books as my early Xmas present :) I chose 2 of the type that I usually read, and was happy there's a 20% off and hubby got it for me. Ah ha, he must have regretted.

Me. I am someone with no patience nor perseverance to read a book slowly... though I would love to actually. I envy those who could read a book over the course of a week or two, its a heavenly thought/dream to me.

Me, I read at the speed of the shinkansen, as I just need to know the ending. Once, I even turned and read the last few pages of a drama/suspense book as not knowing the ending was literally killing me.  I . Just. Had. To. Know. The. Ending. Sort. Back to that book, knowing the ending didnt kill my interests in the book at all and I just flipped back to where I stopped proper and continue reading at the speed of light. I was happy I was no longer living in a mega suspense. And yes, books do get to me in a big way. Its never just a book with pages, words and ending. Its feels so real that I needed to know whats happening at the end.

I remember the good old days, prekids when I could simply just curl up on the bed to read with NO disruptions, or my fave position, tummy down on the bed. Now, even my so-called free time are spent on entertaining their requests of reading, drawing, playing. They especially dont like to see me reading on my own, lucky my novels dont have any pictures inside, else, they may be fighting with me.

When I have a book, and have to stop, I will fret and worry about the next break I get to read. And I will literally count the seconds before I get to see the next word. 

The past 4 days have seen me locking myself in Mei's vacant room to read, or simply just sitting in the toilet as its the other place with lights (we dont turn on the lights in the room when the kids r asleep), letting the TV babysit the kids so I can kill a few pages and even reading at the stop of a traffic light (and for hubby - no, I wasnt driving, u were :)) 

Last night, I read until 230am (midnight onwards the best time of day to read as everything's still and quiet) and forced to stop cos Mei's 3rd bout of crying had the capacity to erupt into a major meltdown if I dont go sleep with her. So I reluctantly left the last 50 pages of the book for early this mornign, up at 7 with kayden to read again.

As I am writing this, I am starting to see that my behaviour just dont seem that normal? I think I am a book addict. You know, like how heroine or cigarettes is to someone else? Just a puff sends them to heaven, for me, a word or a sentence of a good book does the deed.

When I get a book, I am super super happy and thrilled. Really, ecstasy. But at the same time, I have fear. Cos I know once I start I cant stop, every single time. And most of the time, happiness over-writes the latter as hey, its not easy to find a good read!

The fear I have had stopped me reading mostly since the kids came, on top of $ wasted (books usually read only once) and space constraint. But I picked up the habit again when kind SH lent me her many dozen novels. She is the type who just loves to buy and most books, left unread.

My type of books? (1) Relationships, love, life (2) Police investigations, murders, revenge.

And the last 4 days? I had been reading these...

Not entirely satisfying I must say, the stories seem to lack punch. But still, I didnt regret the time spent. Dorothy Koomson is a new author I'm reading since I was intrigued with her other book My Best Friend's Girl, I must say, a better book. 

How do I choose my reads? I read the synopsis at the back of novels and if it fits my type, and only if there's a discount, I'll buy them. Hence, I read books of all authors, and most of the books are no longer hot off the prints. I've still a weakness for Jodi Picoult since I got hooked on her "My Sister's Keeper" and I had gone through a phase of Danielle Steel, Nicholas Sparks, Sophie Kinsella (the shopaholic series) etc.

How did it start? I started loving books when my mom brought us on a weekly trip to the children's library when I was about 10? Since then I had become a trained librarian and even had a job as a university librarian when I was in studying in Melbourne. My favorite childhood book's "The Little Women" and I must have had a full collection of Nancy Drew in hardcover when I was young - all carted in from the States, that now I regret giving away. I was into Sweet Dreams, Sweet Valley High during my teenage years. And I have not stopped reading since.

I dont do biographies, and I was just lamenting to WK "Wouldnt it be good if I love reading educational materials or serious non-fiction stuff?" Imagine how smart I will be, but alas. Reading is my favorite hobby and I know I will not be giving it up any time soon.

Strange isnt it, that I marry into a family of TV-lovers? They dont ever touch books. I never fancy TVs, but I guess it calls for a separate post altogether. Come to think of it, my family also dont read as much. Think its only me. Perhaps I am the odd one out, but I hope, my kids, my kids will reverse the Ang family trend, as I would love them to share my love and joy of reading. You'll always have something to do, a constant companion.

One other thing, I cant stand dog-earred books. My books just have to look as new when I finish as when I got them from the shelves. Once, when I was younger, I was even so unhappy with folds along the spine that I only open a book a little way and kept on tilting the book left-right to read. Yes, I am quite particular with needing my books to look spanking new, maybe thats why I have yet to borrow a novel from the library.