Dishonesty and lies

I've been living quite contentedly with a maid since we hired Gigi in June 2007. In about 4 months, she would have worked for us for 2 years. And she had expressed her willingness to continue for another 2 years and thus we've gotten her work permit etc renewed until 2011.

I am surprised that I could take on to accepting a 3rd party so well, especially someone with no blood relations to my children. I had immediately rejected the idea of hiring a maid for my 1st born as after all, we could manage, and also, I never trusted anyone else with my kid. Overprotective I guess was an apt word to describe how I felt. 

Lucky, at that time we had my MIL to help as she absolutely doted on K (her 1st grandchild) and looked after him when I was at work part time. Her dedication and love for Kayden was unquestionable and she was a perfect caregiver, albeit one who is more soft hearted than us as after all she is grandma and all grandmas love to spoil their grandkids. 

However, when Sophie came along 2 years later, she's older and tires more easily. Hence, a newborn and an active toddler would be too much for her to handle on a daily basis. So, upon my in laws request, we agreed to hire a maid, though with a little reluctance on my part, as after all, I've quite gotten over a foreigner looking after my kids.

My 1st maid from Indonesia went back to the agency after 2-3months as she couldnt get along with my MIL, we had a horrific time with her as a result, and I did write about it here. Her replacement, we got Gigi who's Filipino.

Gigi's the same age as I, but exactly a month younger. She is pleasant, and very trainable. She has a good attitude and is polite. The kids took a liking to her with Sophie having gotten very attached to her as she looks after her more while I toddle around with Kayden who needed just so so so much attention from me.

Needless to say, I was happy to have hired her. And most of all, felt really lucky that we found someone good and we could trust with the kids. I was even entertaining thoughts that she would perhaps stay on with us forever like some Fili maids do with their employer here. My ex-HR Partner's maid have worked with her since her baby was born, and now the daughter is in uni! Selfishly, I prefer continual employment as I dont want to subject my kids to any emotional trauma if the maid changes all the time. And my kids do get quite attached to the maid as I am quite hands off in child rearing stuff when I have reliable help.

Being happy with her, we are quite lax with her, leaving her to do things at her own time own target, which she will deliver. She also gets an off day with no specific curfew but she will always be back by 10pm. If there is something she needs, I'll scoot ard for a cheaper deal for her eg she rebonded her hair in Penang even though it wasnt her off day and we drove her to and fro. We include her in our small family events eg birthday or christmas celebrations and I told her that we want her to feel like she belong in our family. She is afterall a key figure to me and the kids. A great pair of helping hand.

Of course, as a result, she is also nice to us and the kids. She genuinely looks after the kids well. She buys them a biscuit or bread during her off days. She never pulls a long face, and is just very pleasant to live with. At this point, she no longer feels like going home for good (her initial plan was just to work 2 years) and told me she would like to work as a minimum 4 years and for as long as I want to keep her. Currently, she has no thoughts of settling down or finding a boyfriend.

But hey, not everything's perfect lah as there are a couple of occasions that sent me hopping mad. However, every time she would repent and never repeat the same mistake again. The only thing that continued is her forgetfulness eg she'll simply stash things away in the wrong places and thus unable to find it when we need it, or when she forgets to pack some stuff into the children's bags. And she is also quite slow in her work but she delivers lah.  All these are minor, and are general human trait too, hence, I've slowly learnt to accept it, but of course I do grunt when it occurs. Overall, she's still good, to me.

But just yesterday, she shattered every good feeling I have of her. Yes, one may think its a small thing (she lied) but how can I still trust her if she cant even be truthful about small things?

What happened was, she couldnt find the eczema lotion I was looking for and she substituted it with an eczema soap wash instead. Sure you could say perhaps she misunderstood me, and got me the wrong bottle. So let's see, when I asked her where she found it, she said in Sophie's room on the usual cabinet. I was so sure it wasnt there as I ransacked the area just a minute ago. Then she said "Oh Mei Mei took it to play, its somewhere in the room". So I said OK.

After applying the "lotion" on Rusty, I realised its soap! Not lotion! And just that same minute earlier, I saw that soap in my room's toilet. I remember peering closely at the bottle to check its not the right one (cos they are the same brand), so I KNOW, SHE LIED.

I was furious. I sent her up to look for it, as now, I need to also rinse the soap off Rusty's rash! And what's worst, I realised she lied. She really did this time. And I caught her. In the past, I would just go "Oh maybe I didnt see it" cos maybe I really missed some stuff. But this time, I saw with my own eyes and its vivid, the recollection.

I shouted at her until the walls shook. I wanted to know "WHY? WHY did you have to LIE?". What also flashed in my mind, if she can lie about just creams/lotions, something so small, wouldnt she lie re the kids in order not for me to scold her? And I bet, she must have as yesterday's performance was done with a straight face. 

Sure, she could be scared I would scold her, as I just did earlier in the morning as she couldnt even remember I passed her Rusty's new shampoo which of course, she ended up not being able to find until I stood next to her, and demands she finds it. She swore she never saw it, and that I didnt buy. She knows how to use my forgetfulness to her advantage as I have to admit, for a minute, I really asked myself if indeed I bought one? But I was so sure that time I did, she finally found it in the store room where she had earlier looked but missed. 

When she arrived 2 years back, and even just last week, I clearly said to her "If you lie, I will pack you home. I can tolerate your inexperience, your slowness, your mistakes, but lying or being dishonest, thats something I cant tolerate". She knows, and she remembers, and yet, she still chooses to lie.

Worst of all, on top of the lie, she frames my child for misplacing my stuff elsewhere. Sophie was nowhere near that bottle in her room as in the end, we found it in the living room downstairs. It shows she can just shift a blame to someone else, anyone, better still a 2yr old who cant talk or defend herself.

And now, just suddenly, one action, cause my trust in her all these while to collapse. Its just gone. From that incident last night, I have not let her touch my kids. She is still in tears, and keeps on apologising but I told her this time I really can't forgive her.

She is too smart, and she lies with a straight face. How can I leave my kids with her?

Am I sending her packing? Not right now, I'll think about it over the next few days. I spoke to the agent, and WK talked to her too. I'll get the agent to talk to her, and to impress on her honesty is something I cannot compromise. I've also given her an option, she can find another employer, I can deal with that. 

At this point, I am really at a loss. Disappointed is a word too small to describe what I felt. Devastated that someone I treat so nicely can disappoint me. And seriously, at this point I dont trust her.

I'll see, we'll see. She pleads to continue working for me. But.....

My Dad is Better than Your Dad....

TT & i watched this particular television game show the other night. It's called "My Dad is better than Yr Dad". No prizes for guessing what it is about. But for the clueless, the show basically is about 4 pairs of Daddies & their kids squaring off against one another in a tag team format. Each trying to outdo one another with the winning pair getting a shot at winning US$50K.

It was pretty entertaining to see the contestants (actually more of the daddies) being tested in terms of physical capabilities, bravery, knowledge and teamwork. TT was lending her vocal support for this particular Chinese daddy & his cute boy (whom were the eventual winners). She was screaming throughout the stage where this nerdy looking Chinese dad had to relocate South African Scorpions using his bare hands.


Undoubtedly, i was sub-consciously challenging myself against these contestants, trying to imagine if my child and i could out-perform the others in each task. Obviously, i had to fast forward my physical conditions by a couple of years. I was like " i could do this".... "better"..."faster"....."i could answer this question".... I COULD actually WIN!! I couldn't bear to say that though for TT will sure to reply "In your dreams..."

I was kind of impressed by the Chinese dad when it came to the final stage when he was tested on how well he knew his son. He got the right answers to his son's favourite band, school teacher...etc. And for once, i thought this is an area i need to work on since i was hardly involved in my children's daily routines.

The downside of the show, i guess, would be that the kids from the losing team might feel that their dads are inferior to others. Kids, you know, are too young to understand and the disappointment of their dad losing out to others might be detrimental to their relationship with the dad or have an impact on how they view their daddy in the short term. The show eventually ends with the winning child getting to say "My Dad is better than Yr Dad". Well at least, the kids from the losing teams don't have to say the opposite.. try imagine the consequences of that...

My night with Sophie...

12 Jan 2009 - As her brother and parents were in hospital for most part of the day, Sophie spent her day with GiGi and her grandparents. When Daddy got home from the hospital, Sophie was already asleep.



(I thought she looked really small on the bed without anyone else to share the bed with her). After settling down, i soon went to bed, lying next to her. It was already close to 2am (right after the ManU vs Chelsea game)

It was 6am in the morning when i first heard Sophie cry. As usual, i ignored her cries, thinking she will stop by herself. But after 5mins, i decided not to ignore her and started patting her back, coaxing her back to sleep. However, the cries got louder and i was more "awake". She was crying for TT. "MaMa MaMa"...."i want MaMa"...




I continued to pat her but her cries became louder and more intense. So i had to carry her while sitting on the bed....Whispering in her ears about her brother (in hospital) and that her MaMa needs to be there to accompany him. However, that did not work and i was already 3/4 awake (though still very sleepy). So i carried her around the room and as usual, she played the part of a lady in distress, just like in a "Qiong Yao" novel. She buried her head and cried over my shoulders. Gradually, her crying subsided and i get to have a reasonable chat with her. I told her i'll bring her to see her MaMa in another 1.5hrs time, and she immediately replied with a "Kor Kor?".





Soon, i was able to make her smile but i wanted to go back to sleep (My initial plan was to go for a morning jog... that was a target set the previous nite...). So i placed the smiling child on the bed next to me, turned on the TV and went back to sleep. Somehow, i vividly remember seeing her smiling face and voice calling out to me a couple of times.... i believe i must have had some small chats with her while i was dozing off.




When i woke up again in another 2 hrs time, Sophie was no longer in the room and the TV was off.



I kept my promise and went down to look for her. Upon hearing that she gets to go to the hospital to see her brother and Mommy, she reacted with a loud "Yeah!!" with her hands raised!!

So this sums up one of my very few nights with Sophie alone. Every such occasion allows me to further understand her as a person and it made me realise how much i love her.

Baby Centre this week

Fun Facts • for your child

Horses can sleep standing up.

Half empty or half full?

I confess, I havent been thinking much re the posts for this blog, am so guilty.

Again, its been a few days since I last wrote. 

Over the past 2 days, I have been thinking how to be a better parent. How do one control one's temper better so that the kids dont get yelled at for everything? How do I do that? And why does Kayden not listen to anyone? I googled and I subscribed to this online parenting thing... dunno how well it works but an email is sent to you every week (I think) with tips on how to be a better parent. Let's see how it goes on that front.

At the same time, that mailer got me thinking too... 1st step to being a better parent is to prioritise and love oneself. Only when one is happy with herself, she can be a happier person and thus be a better parent. In life, one can only be a coach to a child, not a dictator.

I then started thinking, how much do I know myself? How do I know what are the things I love? And what makes me happy doing? I am stumped there. I think as I go through adulthood, I am merely just floating and getting by. And hence, I dunno what I really want and what I will be happy doing.  How do I embark on this journey to self discovery?

I live my life, guessing what people expect of me, and thus trying to behave in this expectation I expect others to expect of me. And you know, not only am I lost and frustrated soemtimes when I dont seem to be delivering the right stuff that I think people want, I waste a whole lot of time analysing how much a a person approves or like me. 

In short, I create this difficult position for myself - always second guessing, and always trying to perform. I get tired, I get frustrated, I give up in the end.

Life is too short for me to continue to behave the way I do, cos before I know it, time had passed by and I am not contributing directly to other's happiness, and also myself. 

One of my bad habit is being a pessimist. I only look at what I dont have, and thus, I fail to appreciate what I do have in life... which is a lot. A great hubby, fantastic kids, and overall a great life. My friend Cheng from Netherlands never fail to remind me that I have a life that others would envy... I never see it that way, cos remember, I only see what I lack. 

But you know, its hard to change the way one has been operating her whole life. Changing a standpoint is really literally like reformatting a system. Its tough, but gotta do it yeah. I am actually at this point in my life where I feel empty. I feel like a sloth, not contributing to anything, and basically wasting all the knowledge and talents that I have (the pessimist me says, what talent where got talent???)

Its time to get up, get off my lazy butt and do something constructive with my life rather than just being merely a taxi driver. I need to also control my temper, counting to 5 yeah before I shout at the kids and most of all, appreciate appreciate appreciate everything that I have.

2009 a year of change, and I definitely want it to end with me knowing myself more, and have more courage to do what I want to do... 

It will be a good year.

Fully toilet trained, finally

Since my last post in November, been meaning to write that we've finally gotten K to be fully toilet trained since 2 months ago, before he turned 3.5yrs old.

We put the whole night training on hold after he continued wetting the bed. Then once, he went to bed late ard 11pm, and lo and behold, he didnt pee at all the whole night. That's when I thought, perhaps, the trick with him is to let him pee at midnight. 

So every night, religiously, I will carry a sleeping K to the toilet and he will stand slumping like a giant sized doll to pee in the loo. If I dont do that, we will all be sleeping in a wet and smelly bed. He pees between 11pm to 1am every night and once before that at 7+pm just before he goes to bed at 7.30pm.

Of course, I am totally happy with not having to buy his Pampers Premium no more, which reminds me, I gotta sell off the unopened extra stock on eBay! :) If you wanna buy, let me know :) Size XL. I think I have Mamy Poko Pants etc too.. Will do a stock take later!

And, now we gotta refine Mei's potty training skills... She's gone diaper-free in the mornings at home, and if Gigi dont bring her to pee at 10+am, she will pee in her pants then say, "Ugh ugh" while standing in the puddle... To the girl, anything that comes out from the bottom is ugh ugh, no difference in her vocab for the poo nor the pee.

So one down, one more to go :)

(Image credit - http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/1985576/2/istockphoto_1985576_i_did_it_potty_training_a_boy.jpg)

From Baby Centre

Fun Facts • for your child

There are more chickens in the world than people.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Eggs come from chickens.

The bottom of dogs' feet are called pads.

Dirt isn't dead -- it's alive, filled with itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny plants and animals.

Personally, I enjoy reading these facts from the weekly BabyCentre bulletin, I've decided to put it up in the blog :) 

I am bewildered by some facts I dont already know eg like the 1st and 2nd one above. But more importantly, the things we already know like point 3 above, is something that our kids don't already know (depending on their age I guess), and as such, a fact of an ordinary item is (or could be) an amazing item to them. 

Its really a wonder there are so many things one can learn in this world. As long as our brains can retain new information, we as humans never stop learning don't we? Concious or unconciously, willing or unwillingly.

Penang Tourist - Day 3

Another backdated post - Saturday 7 Feb 2009. 

Just the day before we left for Singapore, I went with my mom for a massage after cooking lunch for the family and feeding the kids. My brother drove the kids downtown to meet us at the Thai Buddhist Temple (the Sleeping Buddha temple). 

My brother had promised the kids ice cream and we all had our fill of home made coconut ice cream with chopped nuts and creamed corn toppings. It was good and the stall only open on Fridays to Sundays. Sorry in the midst of devouring the ice cream, forgot to take a pix of the food :P But here, as usual, photo of the kids... All 3 of my mom's grandchildren...

We went for a fish steamboat dinner thereafter... A short and easy day... :) Till we come back again next time...

Penang Tourist - Day 2

This is a backdated post - 6 Feb 2009 - that I couldnt publish in Penang as my laptop's uncooperative with loading photos :( See also previous posts for new photos!

I feel like a full fledged tourist these 2 days.

We went the Penang Hill and Botanical Gardens today. I've probably not gone to so many touristy places all in one trip in Penang for ever so long, or perhaps never quite happened before... Hmmm..

The highlight of today's trip?

Photo-taking with 3 cows by the road side and being intimidated by the fierce monkeys (pic above) in the Gardens. Oh, and the kids, loved eating their fresh coconuts in the car too...

This is a staple activity, K loves eating the fresh coconut flesh. What's interesting is the scoop's cut out from the coconut skin, the man will "chop" it for you once you finish the water.

Penang Hill - Brought WK once many years back, and been wanting to bring the kids up the steep hill railway, however, was closed for a long time for parts replacement. It only reopened recently and we went up. To me, its not much fun, especially with the long wait on the cramped trains. 

Its no joke, also the train rides are halfhour apart, so its quite a waste of time waiting for the trains to move. Every ride (4 in total), we were separated into 2 carriages except the 1st one up to Middle Station where we were 1st to board so we had the luxury of one whole row of seats. Guess its payback on all other rides where I felt like a sardine fish :P And, making sure the kids dont drop things on the heads of the passengers in front of them, or kick those next to them, quite "exhilirating".

Overall, it was a fun day, and a short one too as both missed their naps and knocked off by 7.45pm :) 

Oh yeah, one of the cows (looking at the pix, perhaps this particular one's a calf as it looks quite young, but then I am no vet or animal expert), nudged Kayden on his back 3 times gently with his nose. K was moved a step or 2 foward for being shoved but didnt yelp to my surprise. The calf must be playful and found the boy interesting to discover as I made K pose in front of it to take a photo. Later, Gigi said "The cow's fierce". Kayden said "No, Auntie, the cow LOVES me". OK if he insist :) But yeah I didnt think the calf meant any harm :) But perhaps Papa will think otherwise.

As for Mei, she was scared and scoot off in my direction when she saw the calf sauntering towards them :) Only K stood rooted, maybe cos he had his back to it.

Overall, its quite nice coming back here, for the kids too, as they get to experience things they never would in Singapore. Gotta find more interesting things for them on our next trip!

A new home

Been away for some time cos we were busy viewing and contemplating an offer.

We finally gave a cheque yesterday afternoon after seeing the house 3 times and the agent called us last night at 10pm. The owner had agreed on our offer price at bank valuation and wow, we have now ourselves a new home!

Its a small low-rise project in Pasir Panjang and will be 10mins walk away from the new Circle Line MRT station when it opens in 2010. 3 bedroom, with big balconies- yes mostly wasted space, but good for Rusty who will have places to run and suntan.  The place is breezy and bright and its on the highest storey.

 

The living area, balcony view & swimming pool

The project is a year old but the unit had been unoccupied. Its still in TOP condition and thus in move in condition once we get lightings, curtains and furnishings. As the sale takes about 3months to complete, we'll probably only get the key in mid year and move thereafter.

Hopefully the kids can migrate out to their own room, and we finally get a full bed to ourselves again and not just limited to sleeping on the fringes.

Its exciting knowing that we'll finally have our very own place. Though economics wise, finances will be tight with most of WK's income going towards servicing the bank loan. Anyone with any freelance work to offer, please contact me :)

In the mean time, its good to know that we can check off an item in our 2009 goal list!

Oh yeah, wanted to add... Its funny how life is sometimes. When I came to Singapore 10yrs ago, my first home was in Pasir Panjang too, and now, this place, is just 2 developments down the road from the first place I ever stayed. What goes around comes around isnt it? I believe that wholeheartedly.

The day Sophie turned 2..

Tra-la, tra-lee, today is my birthday, lucky me.

So says Farmer Brown from the Jolly Barnyard. 

We do have some favorite children books, and the above, is a classic with both kids. And cos I read and reread so many times, I can usually remember verses from the books. The above, lifted from page 1 of the book :)

When inquired who's birthday is it today, she shies her face with a big wide smile on her face and keeps as quiet as a mouse. Sometimes thought, she will answer you in the softest voice "Sophie's birthday" where only the person next to her can hear. When I said "It's my birthday", she will say "No! It's Sophie's birthday" really loudly :) When she has to fight for her stand, she will speak up :)

Today, the kids, for whatever reason, chose to wake up at 6am! Its crazy as their usual wake up hour is between 7.30-8am daily. They sure had to punish me, for some reason, they must know I had gone to bed only at 2am. Dunno if I am just being sensitive, but somehow, everytime I sleep late, they will wake up super early! Haha. Guess they dont like me not sharing their bedtime!

Although I woke up with them at the wee early hours of the morning, I just couldnt keep my eyelids open even after taking an early morning shower! I succumbed and curled up in bed an additional hour before leaving the house at 9am. So gone was the plan to have breakfast out as by then, good ol' Gigi had fed them their breakfast at home :)

We headed straight to the Butterfly Farm as its a place they've not been to as Papa's a little afraid of flying insects, what more in an enclosed area :) The Butterfly Farm has been around for ages and is one of Penang's main tourist attraction, the last time I went was about 20years back when we hosted my mom's visiting colleagues from the States.

The kids loved the place! The butterflies roam freely within the enclosure and just flutters all around you. Some even rested on our shoulders when we keep still. And Kayden and I managed to hold a sleepy one in our hand when we arrived.

There were also lotsa exhibits of insects, lizards and stuff. Its pretty cool and we got up close and personal with the creatures. As the enclosures are all quite small and low in height, the kids could peer in on their own without much hoisting/carrying required.

Alligator snapper - Largest freshwater turtle in North America. Usually stay in dark, slow-moving water resulting in algae growth on its shell.

Mandarin duck

Giant Milipede enclosure - Gigi says Sir (Papa) would have gotten the creeps looking at these milipedes as boy they're huge! :) She's probably right as he was already quite unhappy with the normal small sized ones at the HortPark in Singapore :) Btw, this creature has more than 200 legs! Amazing.

Scorpions

 

Green Iguana - One of the most popular pet lizards as its not an endangered species. Lives alone in tropical rainforest near water sources. Occasionally group with friends in the forest canopy to obtain a good sunny bask. Diet: Green vegetation.

Gray's Malayan Stick - Found in SEA jungle. Male is smaller, thinner and reddish in color while females are larger, fatter and brown/beige in color. Female species also very productive and lay eggs every day with min no of eggs being 2. Favorite food is guava leaf.

Thorny Stick - AKA Malaysian Jungle Nymph and very common in Msia. Adult males are brown and females apple green in color. Adults can attach with their spiny hind legs and pierce the human skin. Favorite food is guava leaf.

Moving Leaf - Impressive looking insect that is well camouflaged. Believed to the largest known leaf insect. Female looks amazingly similar to a leaf while males are thinner and narrower. When first hatch, the color resembles an ant but will gradually change to green. Favorite food, also guava leaf.

Macleay's Spectre - An Oz species, also known as the Giant Prickly Insect. Can reach up to 150mm in size, one of the larger species of stick insects. Males are thinner, brown in color and can fly while females are bigger, lighter brown in color and not able to fly. Favorite food is guava leaf, mango and bramble.

Lone waterlily in the fish pond

We had lunch at my childhood favorite restaurant, The Ship. Perhaps I am older now, but the food's really not fantastic no more and the prices are pretty steep I thought. However, the kids loved their Cream of Mushroom soup and kept on asking for seconds, which cheapo Mama didnt order more as afterall the mains are coming. Did they like their Chicken Chop and Grilled Fish? Nope, only the Tartare Sauce that came with it. They were licking and scooping it into their mouths. Hmmm.

 

The next highlight for them was getting on the Penang ferry. After driving in and parking the car, we got off immediately to wander onboard the deck and the kids hung around the front and sides of the ferries. It was cool and really fun (even for me). The trip probably took ard 10mins each way... which was just right for the kids without them getting restless :)

They both enjoyed their day and both screamed "Yes" when asked if they like the farm and the ferry.

And Mei? The birthday girl said "Want go again" :)

Guess we will, when we come back on our next home trip!

And this' the sleepy us, before the kids went to bed for the night. I just couldnt awake after putting K to sleep and myself, stole 3hours of a good shut eye :)

P/S. Its 2am again and Blogger refuse to process my other photos, tsk tsk. Will try again tomorrow, perhaps :)

Happy 2nd birthday Sophie!

Tomorrow, our dear daughter turns 2years old proper.

I told Kayden that tomorrow is Mei's bday again, as after all Sophie had already 2 bday celebrations to-date. First one in Singapore with her grandparents with a mango birthday cake her GM bought for her, this was abt 2 weekends before CNY. Then over the last weekend here, I invited some old friends and relatives over for a small party for her. This time, she blew another 2 candles on her Dora cake.

The food, the cake and the party packs.

The Dora cake had definitely left an impression, as 4days later, she is even asking for "Dora cake". Yes, the little girl can talk now. She loves to ask why, and her favorite word is NO. And boy, does she love to tell of her brother bullying her or even her cousin Nat. Sometimes, they're true, sometimes fibs, or perhaps cos she dont speak properly yet we misconstrue her meaning :) Heheh

Her brother Kayden who is much older and very inquisitive now, asked me today "Ma, everyone has 2 birthdays every year?" Cos he rmbrs Mei's 2 bday cakes. I said "No, only one." It left him with deep thoughts and I didnt get more questions in return. He is probably wondering how come Mei can celebrate her birthday 3 times then? :)

We're in Penang on her 2nd birthday just like Kayden's 2nd birthday too.

Since we've had the parties with both families, tomorrow, I will bring the kids out with Gigi as Papa is not here with us. The plan is to bring them to the big children's playground in Youth Park they both love, and then perhaps a short visit to Botanical Gardens for them to see monkeys. I am contemplating a trip to the Butterfly Farm as well, but its really out of the way. Shall play it by ear and see how much time we have left. Before we round off the day, will also bring the kids on the Penang Ferry - they will love it! :)

Its definitely been a joy having her. She is so jovial, and friendly. And she is so pretty she just makes me smile every time she flashes her pearly whites. Yes, I am still stumped by her stubbornness, and she is still someone who will only respond to a "soft" treatment. I am still learning to control my temper with her as threats or shouts dont work with her as it does for her brother. Her favorite persons are still her brother and me, though I admit, her brother wins me hands down.

She is funny and makes me laugh. Tonight, as we were gg home from my aunt's place, she said.

Sophie: Where (are) we going?

Me: Home, Mei. Grammi's house.

Sophie: Mei go home, change, brush teeth, close eyes, sleep?

Me: Yes that's right (with a big grin)

Sophie: Drink milk (she corrects herself), close eyes, sleep.

Me: Yes :)

She knows the time of day as I was just explaining to both she and her brother it is now night time and its time to sleep as soon as we reach home. She then describes me the sequence and I love to hear her talk. Sometimes though she drives me nuts as she always asks the same question ten times, and thus, I have to give the same answer ten times. Serious. It never happened with K, or at least not that I can remember. And if I dont answer, she will just repeatedly ask, louder each time, until a response is given.

This year will be a fun year with her, for she will learn to talk a whole lot more, and it would be so fun to see how she thinks. And definitely, she will also be able to pronounce "dog" instead of "gog" :)

I'm looking forward to spending my tomorrow with her and her brother. I hope they'll have fun just as well! :)

P/S. Again, cant load the rest of the pics, mmost importantly the Dora cake! Grrrr. Will try again another time!

Coming home

Its been 11years since I left my hometown, the place I was born and raised.

There are a lot of childhood memories here, and more importantly, all my family members still live here, other than 2 uncles who are in Australia and Taiwan respectively. 

When we come back, we will sleep in my old room, with the same all pink decor and layout as when my mom renovated it for me during my university days. We still live in this same house I was brought up in, a terrace house my mom bought for her parents when we were young. My brother and I were raised by my maternal grandparents as my mom had always been a working mom, even until now. She has a successful career, and one of the lucky few who really loves her job.

Living in Singapore, and coming back home, its a huge contrast. Its a totally different and opposite condition. Everything in Singapore is new and modern and clean, and here, all completely the opposite.

I remember WK chided me about 4years ago for not liking the same oldness of this place, and that everything is not perfect and new. I have been spoilt for sure. He was right though, cos as soon as he mentioned it, I realised that a place is as important as its inhabitants, and the comfort that it brings. Not the newness and modernness of the equipments or how well decorated it is. 

Every year when I come back, the same old stuff will greet me. My house looks the same, many stacks of unread old magazines (I bet they're not used nor touched in the past years though Mom insists they are important and she needs them), the same way she lines all kitchen surface with advertisement leaflets, same pile of plastic bags, and plenty of stuff covering every inch of tabletop or cabinet-top in her bedroom. She really has lotsa stuff, and I doubt she ever throws anything away. Which is why, if I need something from the past, she is someone I can definitely rely on. Just 2 months back, she could even give me a copy of my old hardcopy resume, the one I sent out seeking my 1st ever graduate employment, which was dated 10 years ago!

Of course, in comparison to Singapore, everything is less sanitary and clean. And it seems like dust here gathers at a faster speed than back home. Everytime I am back, my sinus will be at its worst, which is why I even fell sick upon arrival and stayed sick for a week now.

There are also tonnes and tonnes of mosquitoes as well in this small little island. With a totally different government style, I only saw one truck that came fogging the area this trip... and btw, their fogging is not even the real type where its really fogged, but rather, just smoke that is blown in the air as the truck drives by at 20km/h. So, needless to say, it's not effective.

If you've been to Penang, you'll describe this town as one with a rustic old charm. Its true, most buildings are really old, and the food is great.

Despite it being an old town with shabby stuff, I still love to come back. 

Firstly, for the family. My mom. My brother. Most important people in my life after my hubby and kids. They make me happy. I love talking to my mom, though we always get on one another's nerves. My brother, I love the old him more where he is less critical and judgmental of my mom. Over the years, his relationship with my mom had grown more distant, and I could only wish that they tolerate and understand each other more. The way I see it, they just need a listening ear, someone who listens unconditionally and dont pass judgment. I am not someone who can give this best, but because I've been away, its easier for them to talk to me as I am not tarnished with everything that goes on here daily.

Secondly, I love the old feel of this place. The sameness, the comfort, I belong. No one judges, and I fit, even though I speak to my kids in English and people look, they still flash us smiles and tries playing with the kids (especially the cashiers at the supermarket).

This place, up until this point in my life, I still call home. I can not be staying here for many many months and years, but when I come back, I can fit in easily and there is no friction or pressure to behave in a certain way. If I can say it, this place, I can play laidback everyday if I want to.

I doubt though, I will move back here permanently. I dont think I can survive the Malaysian culture/style anymore as I have grown very reliant on efficiency and accountability.

The kids? The kids love it here as well. After all, this is where they play all day (and in Kayden's case, break my mom's porcelain stuff every single day) and get to see their favorite friend/persons - Ah Ku and Ah Kim (my brother and his wife). They also love Baby Nat (my brother's son) though they still cant play together yet. A fight will always erupt when the 3 of them are together.

I love coming back. And every year forward, as long as I am able, I will definitely make the homage trip on the 2nd day of new year and stay as long as I can. And since I became a full time mom, I also do make it a point to come back here once more in the 2nd half of the year... It would have been more, if only the airfares are not so sky high for a one-hour flight. I will definitely explore budget airline for our next trip.

CNY 2009

Today's the 8th day of CNY and thus its been more than a week since I last wrote...

Am now in hometown Penang with the kids and Gigi. WK had arrived with us on Day 2 and had flew back home on Day 4 sick with flu. Needless to say, the rest of us were not spared as well. I'm still nursing a cough, sore throat and husky voice, which I think is the same as WK too... The kids? K's still got running nose and Soph's coughing a little. All in all, not a major surprise with the super hot weather up here in Penang, but still a pain in the butt. Oh yeah, in case u're wondering, I still cant hear much, so guess will have to do the "ear-drum-pricking" procedure at the ENT's when I get back next week.

This year, we hired a lion dance troop when we arrived at Mom's too... The kids were thrilled, though mostly, Soph was scared of the loud noise and cowered with her Ah Kim who was also just as intimidated with the clangs of the drums and cymbals. Kayden was busy staring at the lion, just like my 1yo nephew Nathaniel was. It costs RM88 (plus individual ang pows for the troop of 15men), still quite dear but being the kids' 1st lion dance performance right at their doorstep, I'll say its quite worth it. As soon as the lion left, Kayden had asked for the lion's return during CNY next year... I wonder if he'll really remember when we come back for CNY 2010 :P We shall see.

Just 2 days ago too, we celebrated Mei's bday in Penang with some of my cousins and old friends who're in town. Gotta say, my usual friends gang has shrunk by a lot as most of everyone now has their own little family or we've drifted apart. Still, I'm glad for those who turned up as its good to catch up though with my lost and husky voice, I wasnt able to talk as much as I would have liked to!

Otherwise, CNY this year is the same as previous year... visits to 6homes on Day 1 with in-laws, and Day 2, just one before we had to head home for lunch and then the airport. Then more relatives visits when we arrive in Penang.

As with previous years after the kids came, majority of the 15days CNY is spent in Penang as the kids are still young and could afford to skip school. We'll be here until this Sunday ie Day 14. I wonder how long we could have an extended vacation like this, ie is the syllabus for Kinder1 and Kinder2 just as forgiving for playing truant? :) But perhaps, next year, budget airlines would be flying direct Sin-Pen so it is less dear to spend just 3-4days here? 

Now its time for some photos, and before I go... Here's wishing everyone a very Happy Niu Year! News reports predict a bleak year ahead, its probably true. But also, at frugal times, it brings a family closer together, and make us all appreciate the true and real necessities in life, and most of all, one another. Its true too love no longer conquers all in this modern world, but its still a key ingredient to happiness, and sanity.

May everyone have a loving, peaceful, healthy and wealthy year ahead!

There's 4 more photos I have lined up that Blogger absolutely flatly refused to process, sigh. At least I have one for now. Will try again later :)